SHIDDUCH VISION™ Overview

ShidduchVision™ IS A SAFE AND CONVENIENT VIDEO CONFERENCING PROGRAM THROUGH WHICH SINGLES IN DISTANT LOCATIONS CAN ‘MEET’ EACH OTHER. THIS SYSTEM USES SOPHISTICATED COMMERCIAL VIDEO CONFERENCING TECHNOLOGY IN A REFINED, TZNIUSDIK ATMOSPHERE, IN A CONTROLLED STUDIO ENVIRONMENT IN PRIVATE HOMES. ALL NECESSARY PRECAUTIONS WILL BE TAKEN TO PROTECT THE KEDUSHA AND TZNIUS OF THE PROCESS.

USING ShidduchVision™, THE SINGLES CAN HAVE THEIR INITIAL MEETINGS IN A PRIVATE, PLEASANT ENVIRONMENT, AND THEN DECIDE IF THEY WISH TO MEET IN PERSON.

SHADCHANIM CAN ALSO ‘MEET’ & INTERVIEW SINGLES USING ShidduchVision™

BENEFITS INCLUDE:
- AVOIDING UNNECESSARY TRAVEL - INCLUDING AIRFARE, RENTING A CAR/GAS/TOLLS, ETC.
- AVOIDING LOSS OF TIME - FROM WORK OR LEARNING OR OTHER DAILY RESPONSIBILITIES
- EMOTIONAL SAVINGS - AVOIDING DASHED HOPES AFTER THE DELAY AND PLANNING FOR AN ‘OUT OF TOWN’ DATE, ONLY TO DISCOVER THAT THE PERSON REALLY IS NOT AN APPROPRIATE CHOICE.
- EXTREMELY ECONOMICAL - $18 PER PERSON, PER SESSION

Once a shidduch has been suggested and agreed to by two singles in different locations, the (preregistered) Shadchan would make a reservation for a time and date convenient for both of them to ‘meet’ using ShidduchVision™. (Of course, meeting in person is always preferable, but many dates never happen because of the disadvantages of long distance dating. ShidduchVision™ provides a “bridge” between cities, greatly enhancing the opportunities for singles to find their match.)

The cost is $18 per person, per session. Each single goes to the ‘studio’ set up in a residential location in their area, and have a video-conference date ‘face to face.’ (For everyone’s safety and security, prior to the ShidduchVision™ session, each single would need to present his or her driver’s license or government issued photo ID to the host.)

A session would last 50 minutes. (There is a 10 minute interval between sessions which allows a little extra privacy. This is to help prevent singles leaving a session and singles arriving for a session from meeting at the door.) After no more than 3 such meetings, the singles, in consultation with their Shadchan(im), can then both decide if it is worthwhile to take the time and spend the money to actually travel and meet each other in person. (To prevent ShidduchVision™ becoming a ‘crutch’ that replaces actual dating, only three sessions with the same 2 singles will be allowed.)

The rules would be different for an engaged couple who need to discuss important wedding matters and need a few extra sessions; however, most discussions of that nature can be done the "old fashioned" way, over the telephone.          

Frequently Asked Questions

Q. What is ShidduchVision™?

A. ShidduchVision™, a program of the non-profit The Simcha Foundation, is live Interactive Video-Conferencing allowing singles to meet on screen, face-to-face (before they meet in person) to help them make the decision-together with their Shadchan-as to whether they will travel and continue the dating process. This will save a tremendous amount of time, travel (with its inherent safety risks), heartache, and money. More importantly, it will greatly increase the likelihood that singles in distant cities actually get the chance to meet each other.

Q.  Where will the singles meet?

A. The video conference setup, which we refer to as a “studio”, will be in a private room in a pleasant residential location, with special attention to privacy. Plans call for at least one such studio in cities all across the globe (more if necessary based on demographics) -- thus allowing anyone, anywhere the possibility of meeting, regardless of distance.

Q.  Why not have studios in office buildings after hours when no one will be around?

A. For the safety and tznius of all singles, having the studio in a reputable home, where the homeowner or their representative is present in the home is much safer and certainly more appropriate.  

Q. Is this using a webcam?

A. NO! We are using professional, commercial grade equipment in a controlled studio environment that will have everyone looking and sounding exactly like they look and sound in real life, with no distortion-- always maintaining the highest morals and highest levels of tznius. All precautions will be put in place to protect the kedusha and tznius of the process. Webcam pictures are amateurish and often have annoying and distorting delays between each party talking. With webcams there is no control involved, so singles who ‘date’ via webcam are working outside of the Shidduch system.

Q. Who may take advantage of this revolutionary idea?

A. Shomer Shabbos singles of any age represented by a Shadchan.

Q. Does the ShidduchVision™ set up the singles?

A. The Shidduch is suggested as usual -- between Shadchanim. Any Shomer Shabbos single for whom a shidduch has been suggested may have a reservation made for them by a pre-registered Shadchan (volunteer or professional) to use this service.

Q. What times of the day will ShidduchVision™ be available?

A. Because the studios will be in private homes, ShidduchVision™ will begin with reservations from 7 PM through 10PM Motzai Shabbos through Thursday night. Sunday’s hours would obviously be slightly longer based on the host’s availability.

Q. How do you decide who is a suitable host for such a sensitive program?

A. We can’t emphasize enough how important the znius and kedusha of this process is. Keeping this in mind, we will solicit names from the communities’ Rabbanim for those whom they feel are qualified to have such a prestigious zechus.

The potential host will be required to comply with the sensitive rules set forth to protect the sensitivity and tznius of the single and the ShidduchVision™ process. The local Rabanim will assist in suggesting those most appropriate who will take this commitment seriously. This includes those who are seriously committed to helping the current Shidduch crisis and who have an affinity for this issue.

They must also have a room that can be dedicated that will be either soundproof or totally isolated from any goings on in the house so that the absolute total privacy of the singles is maintained. Becoming a host for ShidduchVision™ is both a privilege and a serious commitment. Anyone suggested, even by their Rav, must adhere to ShidduchVision™’s requirements.

Q. How will the studio host know when people are coming and going from their house?

A. Once a reservation is made the homeowner will be notified by email or phone with the names and codes of the people and the times for which they reserved. Because each single will be notified that there are reservations following theirs, we expect them to leave promptly at the end of their session.

Q. Is there a fee?

A. Yes; there will be a charge of $18 per single per 50 minute session.

Q. Will you limit the number of introductory dates?

A. Yes; ShidduchVision™ is not meant to be a crutch to replace actual dating. Each ShidduchVision™ meeting lasts 50 minutes, and Shadchanim would be permitted to schedule up to three such meetings. If the singles wish to continue getting to know each other after three ShidduchVision™ meetings, it is time for their Shadchan(im) to arrange for them to meet face to face.

Q. How does a Shadchan reserve a ShidduchVision™ session?

A. A computerized reservation system is planned for the near future, but in the meantime reservations to use ShidduchVision™ will be arranged by designated representatives. Those representatives will receive the call from the Shadchan wishing to make a reservation, will contact both hosts from the appropriate cities to make sure their calendars are clear for the date/time requested, and will then confirm with the Shadchan.

Once confirmed, a reservation number will be given to the Shadchan who will give that number to the singles.
Upon arrival at the host home, each single will present their reservation number and photo ID to the host. Without that reservation number, no session may take place.

Q. What is the payment method?

A. Once the date/time is confirmed, the Shadchan will pay the representative the fee with a credit card (either the Shadchan’s or the singles’).

Q. Then what happens?

A. ShidduchVision™ requires the host to check each single’s driver license (or other government issued photo ID) to be certain of his/her identity. When the time for the date arrives-the two hosts will phone each other to verify that both singles have arrived at their designated host location.

With the singles waiting inside their home, but outside the "studio”, one host will initiate the Video-Conference call to the other host. Once the connection has been established, and the presence of both singles has been confirmed, both hosts will invite their single to enter the studio and begin the date. The host will then leave the room and close the door so that the ShidduchVision™ session may be conducted in privacy.

For the first few dates we will ask the host to sit down after the session with the single for an “exit survey” asking no more than 10 brief questions about the ShidduchVision™ process. This feedback will ensure that ShidduchVision™ is meeting the needs of the singles in the best way possible. The host will then escort the single out. When two ShidduchVision™ sessions are scheduled back to back, it is imperative that the host protects the privacy of both parties, and keeps the schedule moving along promptly.

Q. How does this work? Do the singles see each other or does one side only see the other?  May they both talk together or must one side wait until the other has finished talking before they begin?

A. B”H, this technology is made for just the purpose we have in mind, since it is designed for the give and take of video-conferencing. Both singles will see each other just as if they were sitting opposite each other at a table.  They will speak as they would normally speak in any face to face conversation.  There is no “lag-time” between each speaker, and there is no need to converse in any special manner, and there is no unflattering illusion of extra pounds added either.  ShidduchVision™ technology truly provides the next best thing to “being there.”

Q. As opposed to a regular date where the couple would be meeting in a public place, what prevents either of the singles from acting inappropriately while meeting through Shidduch Vision?

A. Although inappropriate behavior is extremely unlikely, it could possibly happen (as indeed, it could on a traditional face-to-face date). Therefore we have put a reporting system in place so that anyone reported (by the single or Shadchan) to have acted in an inappropriate manner will be have their privileges of using the ShidduchVision™ system revoked permanently, and will be reported to his/her Rebbi/Rebetzin, etc. We will have zero tolerance for such issues.

Q. Some of the singles - both male & female - who have been approached for input on this program have expressed the idea that they may feel uncomfortable in front of a camerA. How will you help to mitigate that discomfort?

A. First and foremost, it is important to point out that this concern was expressed by only a small percentage of singles. However, we are here for everyone and we want everyone to feel comfortable when they partake of this revolutionary program. Singles who have apprehensions about using ShidduchVision™ may test out the system at no charge. This means that they may either use ShidduchVision™ to ‘meet’ a host from another ShidduchVision™ location, or a friend (of the same gender), who will arrange to go to a different ShidduchVision™ studio for this free 15-minute trial. This, too, would be coordinated through the same representative that takes the reservations.

They will better understand how the technology works and will see that it is not at all intrusive. (It is not at all unnerving, unlike having a video camera thrust in your face at a Bar Mitzvah or Chasunah when asked to say Mazel Tov.) In a 15-minute trial run, once singles experience the ease of ShidduchVision™ we believe any apprehension will subside.

Q. How can the single be sure that you are not actually videotaping their meeting?

A. The equipment which will be used has no capability for videotaping. It is made and used solely for video conferencing.

Q. What would prevent an unscrupulous single from bringing some friends along to stand off to the side and watch while the video-conference ‘date’ is taking place?

A. As stated above, the host plays a major role in maintaining the privacy and the dignity of the singles. Since the singles are (hopefully!) old enough and mature enough to get married, when they come to a ShidduchVision™ meeting their mother/father/friend is absolutely forbidden from accompanying them inside.

The host will only allow the single, who will be required to present his/her government issued ID, to enter the house. NO friends, NO parents, NO one, except the single will be permitted to enter the host location and certainly not the ShidduchVision™ studio.

Q. Doesn’t Shidduch Vision make it too easy for judgments to be made on appearance alone?

A.  Shadchanim have the option to insist on a 2-date minimum with ShidduchVision™ (with the exception being if both parties express the view that a second meeting would be pointless).

Since ShidduchVision™ makes the process of meeting out of town singles so easy, insisting upon such a 2-date policy should be a simple matter for Shadchanim. Since each ‘date’ continues for the full 50 minutes of conversation, no matter what, there is little likelihood that either the boy or girl will limit their judgment to appearance.

Remember, ShidduchVision™ enables many more opportunities for singles to have the chance to date, so even if some shidduchim are rejected on the basis of appearance, on balance, ShidduchVision™ greatly increases the likelihood that a couple might meet and marry.

Q. When will Shidduch Vision be live?

A. We are ready! At the present time forward-thinking individuals, who have an affinity for the shidduch crisis, have stepped up and sponsored studios in Baltimore and Chicago. Be sure to spread the word so that singles in your community have the same opportunity for many more shidduchim possibilities. We look forward to future participation by members of all Torah communities, as well as businesses and community organizations around the globe, in answering the call by financially helping us launch this highly sought after program in as many locations as possible.